Showing posts with label seminary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seminary. Show all posts

Saturday, January 26, 2013

January 26

The snow is falling in big heavy flakes outside our window and I'm settled down with a cup of orange juice, David is listening to the sound track from Aladdin, and our three fish are swimming happily in their tank.  So far today I've baked bread, taken a nap, and worked out. (and cleaned up cria vomit, but that's something I'd rather not think too deeply on).  It's a good day.  And since it's such a good day, I thought I'd take a few moments and update everyone on what's been going on.
This month has been especially busy with appointments of various sorts. We knew they were coming so none of them were really surprises, but they've kept us busy.
One of the most exciting appointments of this month was to my audiologist in London to get my new hearing aid!  My right hearing aid had an unfortunate accident this past fall and met with an untimely death.  Based on the age of the hearing aid and the progression of my hearing loss, it was a better choice to replace it completely than to try and have it repaired.  So, earlier this month I picked up my spiffy new, blue, behind the ear (BTE), Quantum 12, Unitron, hearing aid.  See?
The BTE style is new to me, but so far, I'm loving it, with one exception.  It pinches a bit at the top of my ear.  I see my audiologist again this week for a test in the booth and hopefully to get the tube readjusted so it doesn't pinch.  It has way more bells and whistles than any of my other hearing aids have ever had and one of the best things is I can wear it outside when it is windy and not be overwhelmed by wind noise!
On the same day that I got my new hearing aid, I also met with my neurologist (also in London - it was nice to combine both visits in one trip, since London is quite a drive and it is winter).  The reason we'd requested the meeting with the neurologist was to see about taking me off of one of my medications, Depakote.  Depakote has many undesirable side-effects, and although it was controlling the seizures and helping with the migraines, David and I felt it was time to see about switching it out to something friendlier.  The neurologist agreed and we have started to put me on a drug called Lamictal.  It should also help with the seizures and migraines - with less negative side effects.  It will take a total of 14 weeks to put me on the Lamictal and off the Depakote, putting as near the end of April before the transition is complete, if all goes well. So far everything is going well, though I do increase my dose of Lamictal this coming week.  Prayers that the transition continues to go well would be appreciated. 
That same day I also gravity checked a particularly icy spot in a parking lot and sprained my knee and ankle...and then thought it was a good idea to go to the mall to "walk it off".   I may have heard a thing or two about that from my physical therapist at my next visit.  Oops!
Speaking of my physical therapist, I started physio early in the month to deal with a very painful hip.  The hip has been giving me trouble for many months now and it was just a matter of waiting for the physio department and my schedule to have openings at the same time.  Right now we are doing a mixture of stretches, ultrasound and electro-therapy to try and reduce the inflammation and make it not hurt.  It's going slow, but improving. It does involve driving to the hospital twice a week to get it worked on though, which eats up about 3-4 hours a week total (driving time + treatment time).
The other big thing this month is that I have started school again.  I am doing 1 class, online, and so far it is going well.  I'm not even behind yet!  It's the same class that I tried to take last semester but had to stop when my health took a nose-dive. So far, I haven't gotten to any new material, but I'm processing the old material better now. 
One last picture to close this off.  This is how David and Mauschen like to spend their lazy afternoons (when we have them...which is rare)
(I may be guilty of tickling those toes when they are stretched out like that)


Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Christmas Grief

In seminary I took a course called "Pastor as Person".  It was a required course for all students and most of us took it in our second year. It was all about how being a person, a human being with feelings, emotions, and experiences, affected our pastoral identity. It affects how we preach and how we interact with people. All and all it was a very interesting class taught by a stellar professor. It came to mind this year as I sat in our Christmas Eve service at church.
I've never looked at Christmas through the eyes of a grieving mother before.  I couldn't.  Not before I became a grieving mother.  Sitting in church listening to the pastor talk about the hope and expectation of a baby, a tiny bundle of hope coming, hurt.  It hurt a lot. Listening to the pastor talk about labor and delivery, reminded me of the baby that I would not deliver.  And I wept.
I wept for my baby who was already home with Jesus and I wept for all the babies who weren't home with their mothers and fathers this year.  The babies who were called home far too early for our liking.
And I wondered...how do you approach Christmas with a sensitivity to all that hurt?  How do you a preach a Christmas message of hope and new life to those who are mourning the loss of life?
These (and others) are questions I ponder as my pastoral identity continues to be shaped. These are questions that I hope I can keep in mind if and when I ever get called to lead a congregation on my own. Because Christmas should bring hope to everyone.

Friday, April 13, 2012

I'm still here, really

Hello Readers!
I am so honored that you keep coming to check and see if there is anything new here.  My apologies for posting so infrequently. Life has been busy and routine all at the same time.  The semester is wrapping up and that naturally makes everything busier. The weather is getting nicer and that makes me less eager to be inside...though it is significantly cooler and ickier out than it was a few weeks ago.
Easter even came and went without a post from me. Quick recap:
The week before Easter I traveled to Iowa to hang out with David (my fiance, for those who haven't caught up that far yet).  We were on spring break and it seemed like a good way to spend my spring break, especially since we hadn't seen each other since January.  The tulips in Pella were beautiful, but a month ahead of schedule!  David and I spent much quality time together, and I got to see some other friends from my time at Central.
While I was there we also got some engagement pictures taken by a friend.  Once they are ready, I'll post a couple.  I'm excited for them.
Another high point of that week were bacon wrapped dates with a maple glaze. They were heavenly. And I think I found a recipe to make them myself so we'll see if we can replicate them.
I was back in (little) Holland for Easter Sunday and enjoyed a lovely Easter service at my teaching church.  It involved lots of bubble wrap and some of my favorite verses from Romans 17.  First Reformed church of Holland is not a boring church!
After church I came home and had a delightful nap.  Easter was only missing a few things this year.  (Like my family and David).
This last week was mostly school and sleeping.  I've been doing a lot of sleeping lately. I think I'm battling a bit of an infection in my sinuses/ears that is causing some pain/dizziness/nausea.  So my body needs the extra sleep.  Hopefully it will run it's course soon.
A look ahead to the coming week shows inter-seminary soccer tournament tomorrow, which I will be at, but not allowed to play because my knee isn't quite up to par. And then more class and other school stuff.
I will be meeting a relative for the first time this week, which is always exciting.  She is my mom's cousin's daughter and has recently returned from Africa so we are getting together and having dinner. I think for simplicity's sake I'm just going to pretend that she is my cousin, especially since I call her mom aunt. (I sometimes call my own mother aunt too though...)
Other than that, nothing new or exciting here.  Blessings to you all!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Finals Week

Every now and then Finals week and/or midterms come around.  About once a semester each.  And sometimes they don't  quite as planned.  Blog posts like "How to Study for Finals" or "How to write a paper in 45 simple steps" or this one about midterms get written. And then there are those really terribly awful midterm/final times like last spring when I ended up in the hospital for brain stuff.  Every time I have a bad bought of it, I assure myself that it can't get worse.  Except, it can.  And it does.
I write this because I know many of you are praying people and I covet your prayers (not only for me but for everyone in this finals season).
Sometime between (American) Thanksgiving and  the beginning of December I got a migraine.  I didn't think much about it since I get migraines every now and then.  Typically I ignore them and they got away.  If they refuse, a good dose of Tylenol and some extra sleep sends them packing.  This one didn't like those ideas.  I tried everything I knew to do.  It would let up a little every now and then, but then flare right back up.  The pain was keeping me from class and making me cry (something I don't do often in response to physical pain).  On the 8th I finally gave in and went to Urgent Care.  They gave me drugs for the nausea and a shot for the pain.  They told me to go home and sleep it off.  They were wrong.  I took more drugs at home (really strong stuff) and they didn't help either.  I ended up cancelling my babysitting job for the evening (which made me feel even worse).  By early evening I had tears running down my face again.  The drugs weren't working.  A tearful call to my neurologist landed me in the emergency room for some IV drugs, a CT and other tests.  The IV drugs succeeding in knocking me out (the 50mg of IV Benadryl may have had an effect on that).  I slept that night, but woke up in just as much pain as before.  
Monday was another call to the neurologist and Thursday morning found me sitting in his office.  There was no more playing around with normal drugs.  It was time for the big guns.   He hit me with everything he could think of and was successful.  The headache was gone by Wednesday.  But, so was my consciousness and wakefulness.
I slept from Wednesday through Saturday, pretty much nonstop.  A friend was over to help me out with something on Friday or so and while I was eating my dinner I fell asleep more times than we care to count...
Things haven't equalized yet and won't for awhile.  There will be another med change later this week.
Also, one of the meds that I was on to wipe out the migraine also wiped out my immune system and I've got a good case of the crud (which makes it harder to tell if I'm reacting to my new meds or not...just for fun)
It's also Advent; the second busiest season in the church year.
And it's finals week.

Prayers are much coveted.  Prayers for strength and for healing, for coherence and focus, for wakefulness at appropriate times and rest at appropriate times.   Praise for understanding professors and friends who help out with the little things and the big things.  Praise that our G-d is good.  All the time.

Friday, October 28, 2011

My Bread, Their Bread

Every Friday I celebrate communion with 4-year old M.  M is well aware of the importance of communion and can even say most of the words of institution.  Every Friday during chapel at seminary she sits on my lap.  During the singing and the meditation she wiggles a little bit and plays with my medic alert necklace and the ring I wear around my neck, but when the Great Prayer of Thanksgiving starts, she is all eyes and ears.  She starts to quiver with excitement as she mouths the words of institution along with the pastor who is presiding that week.  As we wait our turn to go forward to receive the elements, I review with her why we take communion and what the bread and the juice represent.  She knows the answers. And then comes the most awkward question of all: my bread, or the other bread?
Here at WTS we have two offerings for communion bread - there are two beautiful loaves of challah bread and then a little plate of gluten free communion wafers.  When the pastor is doing the words of institution, it is the challah that he or she picks up and breaks.  It is the challah that is held up for everyone to see.   In fact, the little plate of gluten free wafers is not picked up or touched at all.  In all honesty, I'm glad that the gluten free wafers aren't handled, especially after the egg-coated challah is handled.  That would quickly become an allergy nightmare and instead of celebrating with M I 'd be being rushed to the hospital (egg causes swelling in me upon contact.  We haven't challenged it with ingestion, but it would not be good).  But the two bread communion leads to a little bit of theological unrest and no small amount of confusion for the littlest of our brothers and sisters.
Today, when I asked M if she wanted my bread or the other bread, she very seriously told me that "the other bread' (my bread) wasn't really bread, just crackers.  She put into words, the words I hated to think.  That somehow, my bread, the GF wafers were separate.  I know cognitively they are not.   They are just as much the body of Christ as the challah is.  However, there is a degree of separateness when we have two communion breads.
I wish we could all be united in communion.  So far, it's happened once.  I cried that day, the day when we all took gluten free communion together.  I wish it could happen more.  Because that would be wonderful and then I wouldn't have to ask M which bread she wanted.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

How to convince your stomach to produce too much acid

1. Go to graduate school or seminary.
2. Get a urinary tract infection (UTI).
3. Instead of going to the doctor for your UTI, try and take care of it yourself with cranberry.
4. Consume about half a gallon of cranberry juice every day.
5. Skip school because you are in too much pain to go to class.
6. Finally go to the doctor when the pain become unbearable (after about a month of self treatment).
7. Take 10 days of the strongest antibiotics the doctor feels like giving you.
8. While taking the antibiotics, travel to a funeral in another state and back (9 hours of driving each way).
9. Miss three days of school right before midterms because you are going to the funeral.
10. Continue to drink cranberry juice at incredible rates while on the antibiotics.
11. Survive midterms by staying up late, eating lots of greasy food, and generally not caring well for yourself.
12. Finish the antibiotics.
13. Realize that you are still in pain and convince yourself that you still have a UTI, because it seems like the most pleasant option.
14. Drink more cranberry juice.
15. Add apple cider vinegar to your plan for kicking this UTI in the behind.
16. Drink more cranberry juice.
17. A week after the antibiotics are gone, realize you are still in pain and it's not getting better.
18. Go to the doctor again.
19. Let the doctor poke you where it hurts.
20. Discover that your stomach has decide that producing massive amounts of acid is the best way to get your attention.
And this my friends is how you convince your stomach to produce too much acid.
So now I'm on a low acid, non greasy, non spicy diet as well as acid reducers for the next two weeks to see if that fixes the problem. If not, it will be back to the drawing board again. 
 Unfortunately, most of my favorite foods fall into the categories of acidic, greasy, or spicy (or some combination of the above!). I suppose the bacon I ate the day before going to the doctor was a bad idea, as was the apple cider I had been drinking like it was going out of style and the cranberry juice and the cinnamon and, and, and....
It's definitely been a learning curve. I learned to broil fish today instead of pan frying it like I usually do. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my Sunday chicken to eliminate the grease. The best option seems to be to boil it, let it cool, scrape the grease off and then do something with the meat. Not quite sure what yet. Maybe chicken salad or some non-spicy type of chicken tortilla, though that doesn't sound too awesome. 
I'm open to suggestions, so if you have suggestions on how to eat "bland" (as the doctor so appealingly put it), please, please, let me know. Otherwise it's going to be a long 2 weeks!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Seizure 101

This morning I did a brief seizure 101 session for one my classes, because whether I like it or not, I did have a seizure on Tuesday and people in my life like to know what to do if it happens again. (We are praying it was an isolated event!)  After class I wrote up a brief summary and e-mailed to my class, because I couldn't remember if I'd said everything I needed to say (I ought to use notes when I do seizure 101). I thought I'd post it here in case anyone needs a refresher or is just curious. Here it is:


 I find that by equipping people with information they are less likely to be anxious.
1.       I have seizures. They are part of my life, but do not define me. I am so much more than my seizures. For real. I can do anything that anyone else can do except stay up really late at night and drive a car.

2.       If I have a seizure, don’t panic. I will live. For real.
DO:
-          Stay Calm
-          Protect my head if you feel comfortable
o   Sweatshirts, coats, feet, laps, pillows are all options
-          Time the seizure. The first time you see a seizure it will seem like it lasts forever. In reality, it’s likely less than a minute
-          Try and remove my glasses and hearing aids if you feel comfortable (and put them in a safe place please!)
-          Roll me on my side after my seizure, especially if I am vomiting or sounding like I’m going to vomit. This will keep me from choking on any vomit.
-          Stay calm
DON’T:
-          Panic
-          Put anything in my mouth
-          Try and hold me still. This will hurt both me and you.
-          Do anything that makes you uncomfortable
-          Panic
 
3.        I will likely be confused and disoriented after a seizure. Please reorient me as to where I am, what happened and who you are.
 
4.       A seizure is not a 911 emergency unless:
a.       I seize continuously (continuous convulsions) for 5 minutes or more
b.      I have more than 5 seizures one after the other (waking up only briefly in between each)
c.       I hit my head hard enough that there is blood (not just blood from biting my tongue)
d.      I stop breathing and don’t start again (I often stop breathing for short periods during a seizure as my airways spasm)
e.      I choke on my own vomit and therefore am not breathing
 
If you have any questions at all, please ask me. And please, don’t define me by my seizures. They are part of me, not all of me. And hopefully you never ever have to see me or anyone else have one. But if you do, you know what to do.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Late

“You’re late”
It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement of fact. Not even an accusation.And not just from one mouth, but from many.
There was nothing false about the statement. I was late. It was 8:10. Normally, I’d have been home and well through my breakfast by 8:10, instead of just arriving, but for some reason hearing that statement in the locker room caused the anger to rise up in me.
Who were these people to call me out on being late? They were old enough to be my grandmothers, yet none of them were related to me. In fact, we mostly didn’t even know each other’s names. Yet here they were, calling me out on being late to the pool.
I had no formal obligation to be at the pool.  I didn't work there, didn't teach there, just showed up a few times a week to put some laps in, keep my knees happy and maybe work my heart out a little too.  Yet these women had begun to keep track of me.  They knew which days I cam and what time I came at.  And they knew that I was late.
I knew I was late too.  That morning sleep had seemed much more important than getting out of bed before the stars had gone to bed and getting to the pool.  I didn't have to be anywhere until 9:40 (technically not until 10:20 when my class started but chapel is at 9:40 and I like chapel), so I could do it...just a few minutes more...well those few minutes kept growing and by the time I'd finally guilted myself into getting up and heading to the pool, my roommate had left for her first hour class. I was late.
I spent the rest of Thursday trying to catch up.  I got home at 8:30, hardly enough time for breakfast before chapel...I grabbed a GF bagel and ate it on the way to chapel and finished it in class.  All day it was go, go, go until I finally fell into bed.
That day made me think.  Mostly about the importance of starting my day right.  I've always been told that starting the day with devotions is the best way, but I am not a morning person.  Daily devotions are important, don't get me wrong, but I doubt they will ever be the very first thing I do.  I've been reading through the Psalms with a friend, and while I usually do it pretty early in the morning, it's almost always after my swim (if it's a swimming day) or at least after I get the oatmeal on, start the water for my first hour tea and mix up my yoghurt for second hour.  then I can focus a little bit better.
The timing of my devotions isn't super important, but what I've found to be important is the routine of starting my day right.  If I start right, whether it's being on time for my swim or making time for my devos before class, it makes my whole day go better.
It amazing how something as little as that, as setting down for 15 minutes and reading scripture can put the entire day in a right frame of mind.  Or getting up and actually going to the pool "on time" can make my whole day run smoothly.
Next time I'm tempted to snag a few extra half hours of sleep before pool time, or a few extra minutes in lieu of getting up in time to do my devos, I'll remember that day and how I played catch-up all day. And I'll remember those ladies at the pool...and, I'll be on time.

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Answered Prayer

A while back I wrote about how seemingly insignificant actions can have profound impacts on people, beyond what you can easily tell.  Today someone acted in a seemingly insignificant way and became an answer to prayer.
I was having a rough day.  I was having a go round with "sunburn syndrome", a condition in which it feels like my entire body is sunburnt, even though it is not.   I don't know why it happens to me, but it does and I hate it. ( It's very uncomfortable.  It's also sometimes called allodynia, for those of you who are curious).  I'd spend most the day on pain meds and benadryl (pain meds to take the edge off, benadryl to try and sleep it off), and was generally not feeling great.  The thought of going to the freezer to get something out for supper sound unimaginably painful.  I was wishing I could just order pizza or take out or something; anything that involved me not having to cook or open the freezer (cold is more painful that hot when I have sunburn syndrome). I was kinda down on myself and not even sure if I was even going to eat.
I left the house to deliver some mail to a neighbor that had erroneously been delivered to me.  As I was walking back I saw one of the neighborhood kiddos.  She waved at me and I waved back.  I followed her into the backyard and he mother invited me in for dinner. They were having the international students over to get to know them better.  She said right away that there was no pressure with the food (she wasn't expecting me and feeding me is just hard in general), but I was welcome to come visit.  I agreed and came in.  Sitting with other people is no more painful than sitting alone.  We went through the food and found some rice and fruit that I could eat, so I ate and I visited and played with the kiddos.  Afterwards, while I was helping clean up I told my friend she had been an answer to prayer.  She hadn't even known it.
G-d is good like that.
Now it's time to brave the shower and go to bed.
Good night all!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

And I'm back...

I'm back.
For the last 2 weeks we have not had internet in our house.  If I sat outside I could sometimes get it, but it wasn't a great signal and if too many vehicles went down the road in a row, I lost it.  But now, there is internet in our house. I'm happy. And a little worried.  Wasting time will be easier now. ;)
On a more serious note, I am back in seminary now.  Orientation was last week, classes started yesterday. Honestly, I had forgotten how exhausting school was.  Maybe it's just getting back into the routine.  I hope it's just getting back into the routine.  I'll have more in-depth reflections at a different time, but it's almost 9:30.  Last night I went to bed at 8.  Maybe I'm just getting old.
I'm also officially back at First Reformed Church.  I'm excited for what the Lord has in store for me there this year.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

And a little child shall lead them...

Yesterday was the annual all seminary retreat.  I'm going to decline commenting on the content of the retreat for the most part at this point (that might come later).  For now, I'm going to talk about the ending.  As normal (well, as much as I can judge normal, having been to a grand total of 2 all sem retreats) we closed with a communion service. Now I love communion.  Especially at seminary because I get to participate. Yesterday was the first time I'd been able to take communion since May, so that was pretty cool.
Anyhow, we're all sitting in the amphitheater at Camp Geneva as we prepare for communion.  We go through the Great Prayer of Thanksgiving, all the appropriate liturgy is read and the invitation is issued, "Come for all things are now ready".  I was sitting behind two boys, ages 4 and 1.5 (I think...somewhere around there).  The older one has taken communion before and understands what happens during communion.  The younger one, not so much.  At the invitation, the younger one rushed forward, eager to partake.  He was quickly summoned back by his parents, but I smiled.
This little one, this child, may have understood better than any of the rest of us.  He wanted to be part of this. He was not concerned about waiting his turn or walking slowly and quietly.  The leader had said "come" and he came.  What if we all had the faith that that child unknowingly demonstrated?  What if we really took that invitation seriously? What if we had that kind of righteous abandon?  It's a happy thought.  As the scriptures say, we must become like little children if we want to enter the kingdom of G-d.
Seminary people processes from the chapel to the amphitheater 

Monday, August 08, 2011

The People

Any Celebration needs good people.  I didn't get pictures of nearly everyone (too busy having fun), but here are some snapshots.
Neti holds a brownie in one hand and munches on a cracker from the other.
Nathaniel watches the action from his stroller
Becky and Clara.  Clara is making funny faces at me
Anna, Dan, Becky and Noah.  No one was actually looking at me at this point
Judy, Stacey, and Kristie listen while Sarah tells an enthralling story.   Clara helps herself to more juice. 
There were more people that came, I just didn't get pictures of all of them because I was too busy visiting. 

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Fun Picture

I have stuff to write about, but I don't want to write.  I want to bake yummy things.  I mean, I do want to write things, just not right now.  I've been glued to the computer since 2 this afternoon working on swim team stuff as well as other stuff and being distracted in general. (RCA's Breaking Barriers publication came out today.  Enough said.).  Anyhow, in lieu of writing, here is a snapshot of yesterday.  After reading my Facebook status from yesterday, one of my friends told me that my life is epic. I will post the status below the picture and you can decide for yourself.
This is me and Rosie at church.  I got to drive Rosie a bunch.  Rosie is part Arabian horse and part pony.  I'm not quite sure what that makes her, but she is wonderful.  Drives like a dream.  Real easy to handle.  And, her cart has lights and blinkers and everything so she even gets to drive on the road.  I even got to drive her on the road.  I was happy.
And here is the Facebook post that got me told that I lead an epic life:
Some days are more random than others. Accomplished today: finding an ASL version of Psalm 23 for a friend. two hour staff meeting. warding off creepy guys at the gas station. Extended grocery shopping trip with a dear friend. care closet complete with an attitude adjustment from my Loving Father. cuddling a baby. driving a horse. examining a head wound. discussing various (head) wounds and methods for closing them. reassuring a parent that their child was going to be fine. supervising "pennies in the sawdust". understanding a very small part of a conversation spoken in Spanish. Playing on an inflatable obstacle course. going on a walk and talk with a wonderful friend. Now...BEDTIME!!!


Friday, July 29, 2011

The Trip to the Grocery Store

For the average person, a trip to the grocery store is not an adventure.  But I have never been an average person, nor will I ever be an average person, so average events like going to the grocery store often turn into adventures.  Tonight was no exception...
I'd made tentative plans to go to the grocery with a friend this afternoon, but for various and asundry reasons, that didn't happen.  So after I had my supper of bacon wrapped, Daiya Cheddar stuffed Hebrew National Hotdogs, I grabbed my bike and headed out. I need to bake for a baptism party, so I really did need to go to the store.  That, and I needed food that I could actually eat right now (long complicated story).
So I grabbed my bike bags and my backpack (and my helmet and gloves and all that good stuff) and set off.  I got less than a block and realized my back tire was flat.  Big sad face.  Middle Brother had fixed it the end of June.  It wasn't supposed to be flat again.  I walked my bike back to my apartment, with a sad face on.
I called Middle Brother and asked him how hard it was to change a bike tire (I have three brothers, I've never had to change a bike tire).  He started talking about it and I glazed over. Then he remembered that he had left a can of "fix a flat" here in June.  He told me how to use it.  I listened to him. Back outside I tried to spray the "fix a flat" into my tire. Spraying it in was fine.  Then I tried to take the nozzle thingy off my tire.  "Fix a flat" gunk started going everywhere.  No big deal, I thought.  I got some on my fingers and they started to burn.  I went inside and rinsed them off and got a grease rag to help with getting the nozzle thingy off my tire.  Once I got it off I realized more air had come out of the place where the nozzle thingy had been attached.  So I reattached the nozzle thingy and tried again.  I didn't have the nozzle thingy on all the way and "fix a flat" sprayed everywhere.  Except on my clothes which made me happy.  I finally got in on, finished inflating the tire and got the nozzle thingy off, getting even more "fix a flat" on my hands.  Tire was successfully repaired.
I came inside and washed my hands, trying to get the "fix a flat" off.  I called Middle Brother to tell him that I fixed the tire and complain about my swelling fingers (they looked like mini sausages and I couldn't really bend them).  He told me that "fix a flat" wasn't really dangerous; it was just aerosol propelled liquid rubber.   I could have quackled or scrandled him right about then.  Liquid rubber = latex.  I have a latex allergy.  No wonder I had sausage fingers.  Enter anti-histamines.
I still needed to go to the store, so now, about an hour later, doped up on anti-histamines, I left for the store.  It was a good trip to the store.  The store has lots of good things.  Like sweet potatoes and sauerkraut and refried bean.  The grocery store also has Jello.   I was looking for sugar free jell tonight, because for reasons not important to this blog post I currently cannot eat sugar or anything high in carbohydrates (this is very sad.  I love potatoes.  Basically, I can eat meat and some vegetables, as long as they aren't starchy vegetables).  I found the sugar free jello. It's amazing how much lighter the packages of sugar free jello are compared to the regular jello, and they make the same amount of stuff.  I don't know how that works.  It just does.  Anyhow, I discovered that nobody makes sugar free blueberry jello.  Blueberry jello is my favorite, but neither the Jello brand or the store brand had blueberry jello.  I wonder why that is.
I also bought lunch meat (cuz I can eat meat!) and that's when  remembered why I don't buy lunch meat.  It's ridiculous how much junk is in lunch meat.  Even the most basic turkey breasts had caramel color added.  Caramel color is often made from barely, which makes in un-gluten free.  Anything that didn't have caramel color had corn syrup.  What happened to just plain old meat?  I finally found some, but it took awhile.  I should have bought pickles too.  I like pickles. But vinegar doesn't like me right now, so it's probably for the best.
I also bought pork rinds.  I've never had pork rinds before, but they look like chip-ish type things and they have no carbs, so they shouldn't kill me or make me sick.  At least, that's the hope.
And then I came home from the store.  It was dark so I wore my special vest with reflective tape and lights. It fits over my backpack, so that is nice.   Now I'm home.  I made jello and it's in the fridge so I can have some for breakfast tomorrow (today's breakfast was bacon and a hotdog, so jello seems like a step up in a weird sort of way).  Now I'm tired so I'm going to take some more anti-histamines (my fingers are still really swollen and stiff, but they won't deflate now!) and go to bed.
And that was my adventure to the grocery store.

PS:  anyone remember those yo-yo balls that were real popular about 8 years ago or so (when I was in high school)?  They were squishy balls on a stretchy string type thing that had a ring to go around your finger like a yo-yo.  They were pretty much outlawed and banned because kids would get them wrapped around their necks and strangle themselves or others.  They were a fun toy, but the strangling part wasn't so fun.  Anyhow, they were for sale in one of those vending machine thingies at the grocery.  Packaged inside one of the impossible-to-get-open-unless-you-step-on-it plastic bubble things.  Made me wonder.  Have children gotten smarter and less likely to be strangled or  have we stopped caring?

Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Silver Lining: Romans 8:12-25

Here's the manuscript I went into tonight's service with (with two changes- this one is single spaced and everything highlighted in red was highlighted in yellow on my copy).  I'm getting more comfortable preaching so I tend to "go off book" a little more often than I did at first.  I still read a little more than I would like to though.
It never ceases to amaze me how G-d can take my stumbling tongue, my youthful words and use them to touch people.  Praise the Lord for His mighty power!

Romans 8:12-25
As I read and prayed through this text repeatedly in preparation for writing this sermon, I kept being drawn to the parts about suffering: if you live according to the sinful nature you will die, our present suffering, bondage to decay, groaning as in the pains of childbirth.  Perhaps it’s because if I’m not careful, I can be a little bit of a pessimist or perhaps, and equally likely it is because when I read this passage I hear in my head the voice of a dear friend of mine who was fond of quoting verse 18 to me in King James Version in her deepest southern drawl. Without the southern drawl, it would sound like this:
For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared to the glory which shall be revealed in us.

If you can imagine that in a southern drawl, maybe you can get a slight idea of why it sticks so firmly in my head.   The two of us served on a mission team together many years ago in Africa, and being in Africa, sometimes times were tough: we were missing our own beds stateside, we didn’t have flush toilets, or hot running water (most days there was cold running water though), it was rainy season so our clothes almost never got dry, and there were great big huge dinner plate sized moths.  Not every day was easy, but when things got tough we’d remind ourselves that our present sufferings weren’t worthy to be compared with the glory that was to be revealed in us.
Or perhaps the parts about suffering stick out to me because when I read them there is a little piece of me that goes “wait a minute!?! Suffering?  Really?  I thought the battle was won, Jesus came, died, rose again, forgave us of all our sins and now we have to suffer?  This can’t be right.  Paul must not know what he’s talking about!  I think if we are really honest with ourselves, we have all had moments where we’ve stopped, even just briefly to say “wait a minute.  That’s not how I thought this trusting the Lord thing was supposed to go.”  Perhaps it was when you lost your job or your house.  Perhaps it was finding out you  or a loved one had significant medical concerns.   Or maybe it was when a relationship didn’t go the way you had hoped or planned that it would.   Or a loved one died long before you thought it was time for them to go. Or perhaps when one of you children wandered away from everything you’d tried to teach them. Everyone knows what it’s like to suffer to one degree or another.  It’s not something we can compare or measure, but it is something we all know.
Thankfully this passage doesn’t leave us in a place of suffering.  It tells us that suffering will indeed happen, but along with that there is hope.  Hope of a glory to come and a hope of liberation.  If we go back to the beginning and wade through the first section about our sinful nature, we can see that our obligation is not to live according to the sinful nature.  In fact, if we do live according to our sinful natures, we will die.  Rather, when we become Christians, the power of the Spirit of G-d helps us to put to death the sinful nature and adopts us as sons and daughters of G-d.  
There is something special about being someone’s son or daughter.   If you have a father who was or is present in your life in a positive way, you know what it’s like to be able to cry out “Daddy!” or an equivalent there off.   This text uses the Aramaic term “Abba”, which translates to father or daddy or papa or whatever else one might call their father figure.   If you didn’t have a positive father figure in your life, think about your mother or mother figure and how comforting it was to be able to call out to your Mother right when you needed her the most. 
How many of us have watched a child learning to walk or ride a bike and then seen them fall?  If their parents are there, that’s where they turn to, to their Daddy or Mommy who scoops them up in their arms and comforts them before helping them  try again.  They don’t scold them for not getting it right the first time or the second time or the tenth time or the hundredth time.  They are simply there with their strong arms, ready for when their son or daughter needs them again.
That’s the kind of relationship we have through the Spirit, to G-d, our Father.  We are his dearly loved children.  And even when our earthly parents fail, which they so often do, we know that G-d will never fail.  No matter how many times we fall, no matter what kind of mess we get ourselves into, G-d will always be waiting there, with open, loving arms, ready to comfort us and set us up to try again.
Since we are children of G-d, we are brothers and sisters to Christ, in a spiritual sense, which means we are co-heirs with Christ, and, according to verse 17, if we share in his sufferings we will also share in his glory.  This is the glory that our present sufferings are not worth being compared to.  I have a hard time imagining what it would be like to inherit anything significant, much less incredible glory.  I’m one of six children.  When my parents are called home to glory, whatever is left after all 6 of us have made it through college, and we’ve cared well for our parents, will likely be divided amongst us.  But I’ve heard of people inheriting family fortunes.  It changes their lives.  Sometimes for the better, sometimes not. 
A number of years ago a movie called “Princess Diaries” came out.  In the movie a fairly normal teenage girl, living with her widowed mom who is an artist, receives word that she has inherited the country of Genovia. In the space of 5 minutes she goes from being a normal teenager living a normal life to having to consider whether she wants to accept this massive inheritance or not.  This inheritance, should she choose to accept it, will change her life.  
The inheritance that we, as children of G-d and coheirs with Christ, are set to receive is far greater than a county, even Genovia.  Psalm 50 tells us that our G-d, our Father owns “every animal in the forest, the cattle on a thousand hills, every bird in the mountains and the creatures of the field.”  It’s far greater than anything that we could possibly comprehend.
This inheritance is the glory that our present sufferings are not worth being compared to.  But to get to the glory, we first have to share in Christ’s sufferings.
In the next section of this passage Paul uses a powerful metaphor to explain our suffering and the fullness of glory that we will experience.  He uses the metaphor of the pangs of labor and childbearing.   Let’s read that section again.
The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.  For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.”

I have never been pregnant, therefor I have never given birth to a baby, so I can’t relate completely to labor pains, but I was present when both of my younger brothers made their entrances into the world, and I did grow up on a farm.  As I got older, I was given the role of “alpaca midwife”, assisting the females in our herd in their yearly task of bringing new life into the world. 
In early June of this year I assisted at a particularly difficult birth.  The baby was large and not in the ideal birthing position.  The labor had been long and very difficult.  As the cria began to make her entrance into the big wide world the mother alpaca began to scream.  She screamed and screamed as we repositioned the baby and assisted her little girl into the world.  As soon as we had the little girl and were beginning all the activities necessary immediately after a birth, the mother began her gentle, calm humming again, as if nothing had pained her enough to warrant screaming just a few moments earlier.  From my limited experience with humans and my experiences with animals, I imagine that this was what Paul was talking about.  After all, Paul was an unmarried man, so I doubt he had much more experience with childbirth than I have had up to this point in my life.
We are waiting in eager expectation for the glory of G-d to be revealed, for our liberation from the bondage of decay that sweeps across our world.  We long for the day when there is no more sickness or decay or death.  No more ware, no more children being abused, no more mothers crying over babies that never saw the light of day, no more people starving.  That is the world we long for.  The weight of the suffering of the world we live in often  weighs heavily on us.  It makes us uncomfortable and we groan and cry out for it to change.  It hurts.  It feels like it will never end.  We groan inwardly and sometimes even outwardly, but there is nothing we can do to change it.  We can’t speed up the process.
 The baby always comes when it’s ready.
If Paul stopped writing there, there would be little hope, little encouragement, but he doesn’t stop there.  He goes on to give us the silver lining in this world of suffering and pain:
For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

The silver lining in this passage is the fact that we can hope, that we have hope in the return of Christ.  We have hope in the fact that we are co-heirs with Christ, that there is a glory to come, and inheritance far greater than we can imagine. If we already had it, we would not be able to hope in it.  If we could imagine it accurately, it would not have the same appeal as an unimaginable inheritance of glory.
Did you ever sneak around before Christmas and to figure out what you were going to get ahead of time?  When you thought no one was looking you peaked under mom and dad’s bed or in the closet or wherever you thought they might hide the gifts.  You saw it.  That thing you had been hoping for all year, or at least all of the last two weeks.  The object that your parents told you Santa might bring if you were really good.  You found it.  You knew it was coming and would be there Christmas morning.  But then something happened.  Some of the excitement left Christmas.  You woke up Christmas morning and went to unwrap your gifts, but it wasn’t as exciting as you had hoped it would be.  You already knew what was inside that brightly wrapped package.  You were happy, but there was no anticipation.  No hope that it would be there because you already knew for sure that it was there.
If we could imagine the full glory of our inheritance we wouldn’t have near as much to look forward to.  Some of the excitement would leave.  We’d just be putting in time here, instead of hoping, waiting expectantly for our adoption as sons and daughters and the renewal of our bodies. 
When things get tough, when we feel the weight of our suffering, when we do battle with our sinful natures, we can cling to the silver lining that there is hope and that we can still have hope because we cannot fully grasp the glory that is to come.   We can wait patiently, or at least try to be patient, (when I’m hoping for something really hard, I have a hard time with the patience thing.  You should have seen me as a child on Easter morning.  Patience was not my strong point) as we eagerly hope for the glory that we one day be revealed in us, co-heirs with Christ Jesus.
Amen.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Stacey's storm pictures, part 3

More of Stacey's storm pictures.
 Thankfully it only hit the side of the house.



The power of wind is incredible!

 Thankfully no one was in this car and it is neither my car nor Stacey's car!

Stacey's storm pictures, part 2

More storm pictures from my friend Stacey



Stacey's storm pictures, part 1

So my wonderful friend Stacey went out and took some pictures of the aftermath of today's storm.  And being the super amazing friend that she is, she said that I could share her pictures.  In an effort not to overload posts with excessive amounts of pictures they'll come in 2-3 posts.  Ready, set, go!
I've seen trees uproot ground before...


But this time it's an actual chunk of pavement.

I think a repaving project is in order...

Stormy Weather

Today we were "blessed" with severe thunderstorms.  We did need the rain, but maybe not the high winds that came with them. There are reports of trees down and damage all over the place.  I don't dare venture out on foot because there are more storms on their way according to the weatherman.
Up until today there were only two places I really felt safe from storms -the lower chapel at Central and my parent's house in Ontario.  If I wasn't in either of those two places, storms terrified me.  Especially thunder.  I could put on a brave "camp counselor" front if I needed to, but the truth is, I don't like storms.  But this morning I felt perfectly secure here in my apartment. Guess that means this place is becoming home to me.
I shot a bit of a video of the storm this morning.  Just as I stopped filming a huge gust of wind ripped through.  You can see it on the tail end of the clip.  Then the power went out.

I stayed close to home after the first round of storms passed because there were more in the forecast and I didn't want to venture out on foot.  I've heard reports of trees down all over the place though, some completely uprooted.
This tree across the street from me got struck by lightening.  It's being supported by the tree next to it

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Quick Update

I haven't posted in over a week...oops.  Time for a quick update while my supper cooks.
Firstly, I am back in Michigan.  No, I don't not have classes yet, but I am preaching a few times this summer, so being here makes that easier.  I will be back up to the farm very briefly in August.
Before I left home, we had 6 crias.  I will post pictures of some of them soon. I only have pictures of the first 5.
I saw my neurologist on Tuesday.  He was very pleased with how I was doing.  No changes in medication or anything.  I am being referred to a neurosurgeon to get the lesion in my brain looked at.  It has been there for 2 years and is likely not anything serious, but it will be good to get another opinion on it and an opinion on how frequently I need to have MRI's.
Compared to Ontario in the last few weeks it is hot (low 80's) and sunny. I've been making good use of my pool pass.
Supper is ready and my tummy says I ought to eat it now. :)