Saturday, April 03, 2010

How to Write a Paper (in 45 simple steps)

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As a college student I often have to write papers.  I have a feeling most college students find themselves in this place frequently.  So a little "how-to"....
1. Put on your painting clothes.  Paper writing could get messy.
2. Turn on some fun tunes.
3. Open a word processor and type a title.
4. Make a sketch of your next painted masterpiece.
5.  Have a snack.  Paper writing is hungry work.
6. Write a few sentences.
7. Gaze longingly out the window at the beautiful weather.
8. Go on facebook and update your status.  Something about how awful it is that you have to write this paper.
9. Erase what you've written and start again.
10. Work on your painting.
11. Go on facebook and check your groups.  Someone may have posted an important question.
12. Type a few sentences.
13.  Have a snack.
14.  Go upstairs and give your friends hugs.  After all, it takes 4 hugs a day just to survive...
15.  Rewrite your title.  After all, the title is the most important part of the paper (Especially if Joe B. is your prof)
16.  Go on YouTube and check out the video that everyone was talking about in class.
17. Get inspired and type a whole paragraph.
18.  Realize that your paint has dried enough that you can do the next step. Paint some more.
19.  Go outside and chase a few squirrels, just for fun.
20.  Go to lunch for a couple hours.
21.  Panic over how little you've accomplished and type diligently for about 5 minutes.
22.  Go on facebook and read everyone's status updates.
23.  Facebook chat.
24. Do some more painting.
25. Type some more on your paper.
26. Grab a friend and go for a walk (or watch a movie, depending on the weather)
27.  Nap time. Paper writing is exhausting!
28.  Go on facebook and look at everyone's photos from last weekend.
29. Type a few more sentences.
30. Read children's books to your friends.  They needed a study break.
31. Check all your friends' blogs.  You might miss something important if you don't.
32. Decide to make a blog post of your own.
33.  Go to supper.  Spend a couple hours there.
34. Resolve to work on your paper and nothing else until it is done.
35. Watch the sunset and take pictures.
36.  Post the pictures on facebook.
37. Realize your paper is due in the morning and you have wasted the entire day.  Panic, close facebook and all forms of IM.
38.  Eat a snack.
39. Get bored with your paper and go on facebook to see who else is still up working on papers.
40. Do some detail work on your painting. (you need a study break every once in awhile)
41. Finish your paper, go to the lab to print it, realize the printer is out of paper, decide to print it in the morning and go to bed.
42. Stumble into class with your freshly printed paper and eyes half open.
43. Turn in paper.
44. Vow never to procrastinate on a paper again.
45. Repeat.

1 comment:

Karin said...

This post is soooo true!!! :D