Unexpected Hope

It had been a nearly perfect day to end off my spring break.  The sun had been shining, the temperature was warm enough for shirt sleeves (almost outright hot in the sun!), and I'd spent the day visiting with dear friends. It was evening now, about 7pm and there was one thing left one my list of things I wanted to do on break: Watch the sunset.  I would have preferred to go to the lake to watch, but that wasn't an option (and we do have lakes in Michigan), so I headed out to the soccer fields.  On the way I met a friend who said that she thought we were in for a spectacular sunset.  The cloud cover seemed just right, it was warm out.  My heart was happy.  I was looking forward to a spectacular sunset with bright, vivid colors.  Iowa has some pretty spectacular sunsets and I was ready to be romanced by my King.

I settled down onto my perch on the hill by the soccer fields, my camera in hand, a bag of grapes and my water bottle beside.  My Bible lay open on the ground beside me. My journal was in my bag so that I could jot down prayers or thoughts that came to me.  It was going to be a great night.

Then I saw it.  A massive cloud mass coming in from the north.  It all but obscured the sunset.  My heart sank. This was not going to be the spectacular sunset I had hoped for. I dropped my gaze to the grass and concentrated on eating my grapes, pouting a little on the inside.  I glanced up again and realized that the colors had changed. I watched in awe as the colors morphed, very slowly, before my eyes.  The changes were almost indiscernible.  I noticed them most when I looked away for a time, to study my text that I'll be preaching on it a week or to pick the perfect grape out of my bag.  When I looked back, it would have morphed into a new type of beauty.  It wasn't the spectacular sunset I had hoped for, it was far better, for in the slow, gradual changes, I found a lesson.

Often we come before G-d expecting something big.  We ask for healing and expect it to come right away, in a big, spectacular sort of way.  We ask for Him to remove the storms from our lives and expect them to be gone like the waves and wind in Mark 4.  We ask Him to free us from our demons and expect them to thrown into the abyss immediately.  But it doesn't work that way.  We don't get a big spectacular healing, the storms are still there and the demons still haunt us.  We are disappointed and pout.  We know that we serve a big G-d, a G-d who has a history of doing spectacular things.  We have seen spectacular things in the past.  Why not today?  Why not this time?  Why not in this situation?

It is then that we need to realize that G-d is working.  He is making changes.  He has something far greater to teach us through the small gradual, barely indiscernible, changes.  Slowly He is bringing healing.  Slowly He is calming our storms.  Slowly He is freeing us from our demons.   Sometimes He chooses to respond in spectacular ways, but far more often, it is the slow and steady that He uses to romance us.  It doesn't mean He isn't answering our prayers or that He isn't working.  He's just working in a different way.  Just like the sun was still setting.

Pella, Part 6

This particular post in the Pella series is dedicated to the "natural" things I photographed during my break. Things that are just as much a part of Central as the people...and maybe even more so, because they never go away.

A sunset through a dorm room window.  

Two of the three geese that live on the pond.  I'm not quite sure how this family of three thing works, but they seem to get along fine.  

A goose looking all tall and proud.

The "mama-to-be" working on her nest.  No eggs yet, she's not spending enough time on the nest for there to be eggs in it yet.  Last year I got to watch her lay an egg.  It was neat. 

The trees were just starting to bud.  Lots of pollen in the air.  Hooray allergies! 

Sunset at the soccer fields. 

Look for a post inspired by this sunset in the next day or so (I'll put a link up once the post goes live)

Lessons from a sunset, or lack thereof...

One of my favorite things (I have a lot of favorite things) is to watch the sunset.  I love the bright colors, the uniqueness of each sunset.  I especially enjoy watching sunsets over water, since I have almost always loved water.  Fortunately for me, Lake Macatawa is only about 8 blocks west of me and there is a nice bench there for watching the sunset.  Watching the sunset at Lake Macatawa also means I get to go for a walk, which is another one of my favorite things. 
Here's one of the pictures I took at Lake Macatawa shortly after arriving here in Holland:

August 31, 2010

Saturday night I was sitting at my desk doing homework (and facebooking a friend) when I glanced out my window, which faces north-west-ish (more north, so maybe north-northwest, if you want to be all technical...I left my compass at home, so I'm guessing based on the sun), and saw the colors playing on the clouds.  My heart got excited and postponed what I was doing and grabbed my camera, water bottle, iPod and gloves (it was chilly out) and headed for the lake.  I snapped a picture of the clouds as I left my apartment:

  

My past experiences with sunsets had taught me that some cloud cover enhances the beauty of the sunset so I was super excited. When I made it to the lake however, I was initially disappointed.  Either I was too late or the cloud cover was just too much.  There was no spectacular sunset. This is what I saw when I got there:

October 2, 2010

Since I was already at the lake, I decided to sit and listen to my music and watch the clouds for a time. I really didn't want to be doing my homework anyways.  And maybe, just maybe, the clouds would break and I'd get my spectacular sunset.  The clouds never did break.  Off to the side though there was some color.  See?

Mostly though I just watched the clouds and listened to my music. At one point I was talking to G-d and complaining a bit about the lack of a spectacular sunset after I'd walked all the way to the lake to see it. I talked to Him about some other things too...asked some tough questions  And then I just sat and listened and played with my camera.  As I listened I heard (in my heart...it's hard to explain how one hear's G-d, but you know when you hear Him) Him speak to me.  I'll try and reproduce our conversation (at least the parts I'm willing to share) in English the best I can. (G is G-d, M is me :) )

G: Is the sun setting?

M: of course the sun is setting...the sun sets every night

G: but you can't see the sun setting.  All you see is the clouds and darkness.

M: but G-d, some things never change. The sun sets every night whether I can see it or not, whether I'm paying attention to it or not.

G: Exactly.  

I sat there with that for awhile.  Some things never change. Whether I can see them or not, whether I'm paying attention or not, some things never change.  G-d never changes.  The eternal truth that He is always in control, never changes.  The truth that light comes after the darkness never changes.

As I sat with it, the words to a song a friend had sent me earlier, came to my find.  I won't post the full lyrics here, but if you want them just click here.  The first two stanzas are: 

Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see

and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

If you'd like a youtube video of the song, with lyrics, check this out.

Somethings never change.  And sometimes, G-d uses a clouded over sunset and the words of a song to remind me of what I really need to know. Sometimes, the biggest blessings are those that come in disguise.


PS:  This isn't the first time G-d has used a sunset misadventure to teach me a lesson.  Check out this post for another sunset lesson

For I know the plans...

Remember, if you are viewing this post through facebook notes you need to click "view original post" in order to see the entire note...


Sometimes plans change.  Sometimes things don't go the way I expect them to go or want them to go.  When this happens I get frustrated.  I like to know what is going to happen, when it's going to happen and how it's going to happen, so when it goes different, I get frustrated and upset.  However, once I calm down, I begin to realize that even though my plans didn't work the way I expected them to, G-d's plans were being worked out in ways I couldn't imagine.
Last night I really really wanted to go see the sunset out at the lake. I'd even asked a friend with a car to take me to the lake (She likes the sunset too) and she had said she could and would...It appeared a rock solid sunset-watching at the lake plan...until about 6pm. She couldn't bring me anymore.  She had a previous committment that she had forgotten about.  I put a desperate plea out on facebook for someone to watch the sunset with and I started calling people who I thought might be interested.   I found someone.  Once again I had a rock-solid sunset-watching at the lake plan...except it got cloudy and there really wasn't much of a sunset.  Either that or we were just too late.  I was frustrated.  All I had wanted to do was watch the sunset.
Looking back, even though the sunset-watching at the lake plan had failed, it was a good night.  We drove around semi-randomly and found some places that would be good for future sunset watching at the lake, we went to Wal-Mart and had an adventure. I got some new detail brushes. We talked. We listened to music and sang along. We got to hang out and just be friends.  It was good.
 
I must be a slow learned because last night was not the first time in the last two weeks that G-d has taken my plans and turned them on their head.
New Orleans.  My plan was to go and spend the week serving others.  I did not plan on spending 4+ hours in the hospital on Monday.  Nor did I plan to be so out of it Wednesday that I couldn't even come close to doing my share of the work.  G-d however planned that I would learn to lean on other people and develop new friendships.  I don't think it would have happened if G-d hadn't slowed me down first.  Sometimes it takes a lot to get me to slow down and listen.
This week Wednesday I planned on going to be early and sleeping long.  I did not plan on going to Nine.  I did not plan on playing badminton at midnight...G-d planned for me to be at Nine and it was amazing.  The words spoken and the songs sung were exactly what I needed to hear.  And playing badminton at midnight...I like to think G-d planned that for a purpose too, even if it was just to have fun.
G-d's plans are so much bigger than mine.  It's easy to write this, but so much harder to live it.  I like to know what is going to happen, when it's going to happen, and how it's going to happen.   I need to learn to lean more on G-d and trust him more fully..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11
 

What we saw instead of the sunset I had intended on seeing....