The "What-If" Game

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been playing the “what if” game.  I played it as a child and I play now as a grown-up of sorts.

There are different kinds of what-ifs, some healthier than others.

Firstly, there are the ones that simply cause more anxiety:

What if the neighborhood cougar eats me when I take the compost out?  (although the neighborhood cougar was very real, it never attacked a human.  He preferred sheep and chickens)

What if it snows so much that we can’t get home from school? (at least once we were sent home early to avoid this)

What if Mommy gets in a car accident because the weather is so horrible and she doesn’t come home from work? (she worked homecare in a rural setting.  The weather was often very horrible at night)

The anxiety causing ones are typically things that are well beyond our control and we can do little to nothing to prepare for them.

Then there are the what-ifs that lead to being prepared:

What if instead of being sunny on our campout it rains? (hint: pack rain gear)

What if there is a fire in the building I’m in? (hint: know your exits)

What if I get stuck in traffic with 13 little girls in the back of the van? (true  story.  Hint: sing songs and make up games)

What if my Kingdom Kids finish their craft in 5 minutes instead of 15?  (hint: always overplan)

What if our trip takes a day longer than planned? (hint: bring extra underwear and extra medication)

What if we come upon a car accident while we are driving? (hint: keep your first aid training up to date and carry a first aid kit in the car)

What if I'm hungry before I get home? (hint: always bring a snack!)

There are some what-ifs that are more likely than others:

“What if I get kidnapped?” is a much less likely scenario than “What if I get hit by a car on my way to school?” (some mornings my eyes are barely open as I cross the street to school)

“What if I forget that it’s my Sunday to do liturgy?” is much more likely to happen than “What if I forget the way to church?” (It’s been a year, it involves no more than 3 turns and one of them is a forced turn)

“What if I forget to comb my hair?” is much more likely than “what if I forget to get dressed before going to class?”

Then there are the really fun what-ifs, the ones that let you play with the future and explore different ideas:

What if I decide not to go on my J-term trip?

What if I don’t turn in my credo paper on time?

What if I decide to stop going to school for a while and instead get a real job?

What if he actually loves me instead of just likes me?

What if I dye my hair purple?

What if I move to a different state?

What if I switch to distance learning?

What if I decide to get my nose pierced?

What if I find out I can’t have children?

What if I could find all the people who ever made me angry and beat them with a wet noodle?

What if the seizures never go away?

What if I could stop worrying about what people think about me?

What if this is my last day on earth?

The last list is by no means complete and not all of them are necessarily happy or serious.  They just are.  In one of my classes this semester, Play in Life and Ministry, we’ve been reading about creativity and how playing the “what-if” game can actually be healthy.  It helps you see outside of the normal bounds of society.  It gives you the freedom to look beyond what is immediate and play with the concepts of time and the future.  Of course, some what-ifs are just plain worrisome and should not be played with (see the first list).

So how do you play with the future and time? How do you relieve your stress by playing with your imagination?  What are some of your what-ifs?

How to convince your stomach to produce too much acid

1. Go to graduate school or seminary.
2. Get a urinary tract infection (UTI).
3. Instead of going to the doctor for your UTI, try and take care of it yourself with cranberry.
4. Consume about half a gallon of cranberry juice every day.
5. Skip school because you are in too much pain to go to class.
6. Finally go to the doctor when the pain become unbearable (after about a month of self treatment).
7. Take 10 days of the strongest antibiotics the doctor feels like giving you.
8. While taking the antibiotics, travel to a funeral in another state and back (9 hours of driving each way).
9. Miss three days of school right before midterms because you are going to the funeral.
10. Continue to drink cranberry juice at incredible rates while on the antibiotics.
11. Survive midterms by staying up late, eating lots of greasy food, and generally not caring well for yourself.
12. Finish the antibiotics.
13. Realize that you are still in pain and convince yourself that you still have a UTI, because it seems like the most pleasant option.
14. Drink more cranberry juice.
15. Add apple cider vinegar to your plan for kicking this UTI in the behind.
16. Drink more cranberry juice.
17. A week after the antibiotics are gone, realize you are still in pain and it's not getting better.
18. Go to the doctor again.
19. Let the doctor poke you where it hurts.
20. Discover that your stomach has decide that producing massive amounts of acid is the best way to get your attention.
And this my friends is how you convince your stomach to produce too much acid.
So now I'm on a low acid, non greasy, non spicy diet as well as acid reducers for the next two weeks to see if that fixes the problem. If not, it will be back to the drawing board again. 
 Unfortunately, most of my favorite foods fall into the categories of acidic, greasy, or spicy (or some combination of the above!). I suppose the bacon I ate the day before going to the doctor was a bad idea, as was the apple cider I had been drinking like it was going out of style and the cranberry juice and the cinnamon and, and, and....
It's definitely been a learning curve. I learned to broil fish today instead of pan frying it like I usually do. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my Sunday chicken to eliminate the grease. The best option seems to be to boil it, let it cool, scrape the grease off and then do something with the meat. Not quite sure what yet. Maybe chicken salad or some non-spicy type of chicken tortilla, though that doesn't sound too awesome. 
I'm open to suggestions, so if you have suggestions on how to eat "bland" (as the doctor so appealingly put it), please, please, let me know. Otherwise it's going to be a long 2 weeks!

Is one enough?

Is one language ever really enough?
Almost everyday I find myself searching for words and more times than not, I come up with them in a language other than the one I'm supposed to be speaking. I was in class the other day and we were talking about how Jesus could have come in and demolished the Romans (but he didn't, because that wasn't the way he had planned), but I couldn't think of the word "demolished" or similar words in English. However, I knew the sign I needed and half way through my sentence I switched to sign language and threw the word out that I needed. It got my point across, and the sign I used was just a really fun sign (it's one of my favorites...I'm not sure what it says about me when many of my favorite signs are on the "violent" side of things. The sign for "bombs" is super fun too.) 
Another time, in a context where the primary languages were supposed to be sign and English, I caught myself thinking in German (and maybe even a little Greek!) and accidentally vocalizing a few times in German instead of English. Many times I'll know a German (or other language word) that describes how I'm feeling or what I want to say much better than the English words I know. Once I know the word I want in German I try and think of the English word and there just isn't one! How do you translate the word "kribble" (Ich habe einen Kribble in meinen Bauch) into English? The best I've ever come up with is to Anglicize it (My stomach is all kribbly) and then when people ask, try and use lots and lots of words to explain it. In this instance, "kribbly" can be describe as happy little butterflies dancing around inside, kind of like the feeling you get when you talk with that special someone...or are filled with excitement. They aren't the kind of butterflies you get when you are nervous about giving a speech or something. Those are mean butterflies. There are all kinds of other words I do that with, just because I don't know the English or English simply doesn't have the word I need. 
The other day I threw the Hebrew "Nephesh" into conversation (I may or may not have been feeling slightly kribbly at the time) because I didn't have an English word to explain what I was saying. (My conversation partner actually had to look the word up. Hebrew phrases weren't in their vocabulary.) 
So what is my point? That's a really good question. I'm still working on that minor detail. What bugs me is that so many of us in North America know one language. Just one. And mostly it is English, which although a beautiful and diverse language, is lacking in so many ways. 
Is there a way to fix this problem? I wish I knew. I wish I could tell everyone to go out and learn multiple languages so that we could have fuller communication. I wish there was a practical way to come up with a language that would be understood by everyone, everywhere, and encompass the fullness and richness of individual languages, but that's just not practical. Firstly, our world is too big for everyone to learn the same language. It just wouldn't happen. Secondly, we all have different language needs. Someone living near the equator would not need as many words for winter precipitation as we need in Canada.
I don't know the answer.  Do you?

Precious moments

This morning in church I sat right in front of 4 year old Abel and his dad.  I often sit in front of Abel and his family or across the aisle from them.  Today when it was time for the morning offering to be received, Abel decided that he was going to help his dad collect the offering (Abel's dad is a deacon).  Without missing more than a beat or two, Abel's dad handed him an offering plate and the two of them collected the offering together.  Abel was so proud as he passed the plate down the rows of people, and the look on his face as he walked down the center aisle with his dad and the other deacon to present the offering filled my heart with joy.  I got a high five from him as he went back to his seat.

Last week Friday I celebrated communion with 4 year old Miriam snuggled on my lap.  As the communion liturgy was read/recited she nearly quivered with excitement.  As I took the wafer and dipped it in the grape juice, she took a wafer and dipped it in the grape juice.  She knew that Jesus had died for her sins too.  Because she had been raised in a church (they had no Sunday School), she knew what communion was and she knew that this was part of her faith life.  When we were finished, she twisted around on my lap and smiled up at me. We shared that sacred moment together.

Children are not the future of our church. They are the church. They are the church now.  They will not become the church.  They are the church.

When will we realize this and stop sending them off to Sunday is the basement while we have church?  Why do we pretend to ourselves that once they are older they will want a part in the very church sent them off to their own space, their own classroom the entire time they were growing up?

Children can participate in "big church".  Abel collected offering this morning.  Children can greet people and hand out bulletins.  They can pass out cookies after church.  They can sing the songs and learn the readings and liturgy that we use week after week.

Children are the church now. Today.  In this time.

These are precious moments that we can't afford to miss.  If we miss these moments, then the church WILL die.  There is no doubt about that.

Angry Blog Post

I'm not usually a very angry person, but tonight, I am angry. So if you'd rather not read an angry blog post, stop reading now. I just need to be angry for a little bit.
Dear person who came onto our farm today and purposely opened a gate and left it open,
I don't know who you are, and you'll probably never actually read this.  This is probably a good thing because if I did know who you are, you would have to experience my anger in person. And right now, I'm not happy with you.
I don't know who you are or why you did what you did, but I don't understand why you recklessly endangered the animals like that.  Not only are alpacas very valuable and lovable animals, the gate you left open was to the moms and babies.  I spent a large portion of my summer delivering and caring for these precious babies.  These animals have done nothing to harm you.  Not ever.
If you have an issue with someone in my family, that is no reason to take it out on the innocent animals. If you have a problem with someone, grow a pair and talk to them.  Don't engage is such cowardly acts as opening gates or cutting fences.
If you have a hatred for alpacas, fine. You don't have to live with them or love them, but we do love them.  So leave us and them be.

End angry blog post.

Gluten Free communion bread

Today was Worldwide Communion Sunday.  For those of you who didn't grow up in the church or just have no idea what that means or why it's important, it's basically a Sunday where many churches around the world have decided to celebrate communion or the Eucharist.  It's really neat to realize that on this particular Sunday churches all over the world are doing the same thin, albeit often in very different ways.
The church I worshiped with this morning served communion with naan-bread and grape juice.  Other churches served wafers and wine.  Others served white wonder bread. Some bread had leaven, other bread was unleavened. Tonight a friend served me homemade gluten free bread with cranberry juice. Regardless of what was served and the exact theology each congregation holds to, it was all a celebration of the same thing, the marvelous sacrifice of Christ on the cross.
As I sat there, not taking communion in full (we were served by intinction (dipping the bread in the cup) this morning , but I got a cup from the elder that was serving those who couldn't get to the front), I thought about bread.  If you've read what I've written about communion before, you know that the bread is a big stumbling block for me. The gluten found in most bread can make me super sick. And that's not fun.  So, as I sat there I thought about gluten free options for communion (for the bread only...if you want to read more about doing gluten free communion properly/safely, read one of these posts: Post 1, Post 2 or talk to me (I've done some work on this topic) or someone in your congregation who has experience with gluten free eating.).

One option that is relatively easy and safe is to take gluten free communion wafers.  These are certified gluten free and keep really well.  Of course, if your church has been using bread since the foundations of time, it might be a bit of a huge switch and something you have to work through as a congregation.  The most common (perhaps only) gluten free communion wafer is from Ener-G foods.  It is free from just about everything including leaven, nuts, egg, dairy, shellfish, corn and more.

Another option is store bought gluten free bread.  If that's what you want to do, and if that's what is going to work best for your congregation, you want to pick one that doesn't have a huge list of ingredients.  The more ingredients the bread has, the more likely someone is to be allergic to something in it.  You also want to make sure you get one that isn't crumbly, which is hard.    If your congregation is nut free, Kinnikinnick foods are all nut free, but many of them have eggs and dairy in them, so if you are going with a store bought bread, check with your congregation.  I think they all have corn so I can't have any of them and I don't know how the crumble factor works.  Other companies such as Udi's or Glutino also make gluten free bread, which I think is nut free, but does contain eggs and dairy.  Again, check with your congregation to see if this works.  In Ontario check out El Peto.  They have lots of different breads and some are free of most allergens, such as their potato bread (one of my favorites when I'm on the farm).


Yet another option is to have someone in your congregation bake gluten free bread.  All the cautions that apply to using store bought bread apply to this option too, along with making sure the person is who doing the baking understands allergy friendly baking and the risk of cross contamination. 


The most important thing is to talk to your congregation.  Don't assume you know that they need. Because you don't.  Talk to you congregation and really listen to them. 

Gummy Worms!

Today, instead of doing my homework, I decided try out a recipe that my cousin had sent me.  It was for gummy worms.  I have not been able to have gummy worms for a long time because gummy worms tend to be made with lots and lots of corn syrup and my body really doesn't do well with corn syrup.  Which is problematic because I really like gummy candies.  (I like jelly beans too, but aside from one accidentally "jelly bean cake" I have not mastered the hard on the outside-chewy on the inside jelly bean).
I was a bit skeptical as I started.  All my previous attempts at candy (aside from chocolate) had been miserable failures, but this looked pretty failure proof.  I didn't even need a candy thermometer! And there were absolutely no substitutions that I had to make.  For a recipe, that is always a good start.

some of my gummy worms (there were and still are lots more!)

Gummy flutterby

Ladybug!

Flutterby on a string!

Gummy Frog!

Flowers!

And then, just for fun I made scones.  I'd never had a scone before.  But they are yummy.  Olga and I sampled one fresh from the oven.  These are completely allergy friendly (top 8 free) and have chocolate chips in them.  As long as I don't eat them all before Monday, my peer group is in for a treat!  (if they keep well...the recipe said serve warm, so I'm hoping they hold until Monday)