Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Big News

So the neurologist called this morning.  When I saw his number on my phone, I pretty near had a heart attack. In my experience, a call this soon after a test is typically not good news.  I ran out of class and answered it, with my hands shaking.  I didn't need to be worried.  The news was good.  There has been no change in my lesion since my last MRI.  Praise the Lord!  It means, that for now, I can relax again.  Unless something changes, I don't have to see my neurologist again until the end of June.  True, we are no closer to knowing what Spot is than we were before, but we know he's not growing and doesn't seem to be misbehaving, and that is very good news!  I pretty much couldn't stop smiling after I got the call.  Now I can stop jumping every time my phone rings.
When I realized the possibility that I could get rather bad news just before Easter I resolved not to tell very many people (including my immediate family), until after Easter, unless the news was super bad. In fact, the only people I had planned on telling before Easter where those who absolutely needed to know...basically, the ones who would be taking me to the neurologist and anybody who would be directly affected immediately (professors whose classes I would miss, my teaching church if it interfered with my work there). I let some people know that this was my plan and was sharply criticized by more than a few of them.  They told me it was selfish and even foolish to think like that.  I disagree with that assessment.  I don't think it was a selfish decision, in fact, it may have been the exact opposite.
Easter is my favorite holiday.  During Advent I could quicker tell you how many days were left until Easter than I could until Christmas. Easter is a happy time and I wanted everyone to be happy for Easter. I didn't want to cloud anyone's Easter with the news that bad stuff was happening in my brain, unless of course it was really bad and waiting until after Easter would make a difference.  I can remember being at camp as a teenager.  Part way through the week I called home to check in.  No one told me anything was wrong.  When I got home at the end of the week, I found out that by the time I had called home midweek, my parents already knew one of my friends had died. They didn't want to cloud my camp experience with the knowledge that friend had died.  Easter is a much bigger deal than camp.  I didn't want to cloud anyone's Easter.  If someone wants to explain how that is selfish, I'll listen.  I won't necessarily agree, but I will listen.
In any case, that's not an issue now, since the news is good.  Hooray Spot not growing! Praise the Lord!
PS:  Easter is only 4 days, 10 hours and 47 minutes away!

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