Sunday, January 31, 2010

NGU

NGU. Never Give Up.
In my time here at Central I’ve heard this phrase repeatedly. Coaches say it to athletes. Friends say it to friends. Certain professors say it to groups of students.

It has been a rough week. There has been no continuation to the Joseph story this week because I have not had the focus to be able to tell it the way I want to and there has been too much else on my mind, begging to be written. Joseph will return, fear not.

Back to the rough week. I’ve been being challenged to stretch and grow in new ways. This is not a bad thing, but it is a difficult thing. I have amazing friends though who are walking with me on this journey. Also this week there has been a lot of hurt on campus. A friend of mine decided that life was no longer worth living and we have been grieving our loss. I’ve had some difficult conversations with friends as I’ve tried to come alongside them in their hurt. Something in my dinner tonight tried to kill me. I’m on lots of drugs right now. There were days this week when it hurt too much to move.

It’s after weeks like this that you just want to curl up and sleep under nice warm blankets. But then these three little words come into mind.
Never Give Up.

Even though the going is tough, we need to keep on going. There will be better days, weeks, months, years.

But we can’t keep going alone. This has been a theme for me the last few weeks. I can’t do life alone. I need my community around me. This does not make me weak. It makes me strong. Asking for help takes guts. Telling your friends that you need a shoulder to cry on takes courage. I’m not all the way there yet. I may never be there, but I’m learning. Be patient with me, G-d’s not done with me yet.

Community alone is not enough either. I cannot and do not expect my friends to be able to carry me. It’s not their job and that is okay. I have Jesus and he will never give up on me. As I sat to write this, before I got interrupted by the fire alarm, one of my favorite songs came on itunes. It’s called “You Never Let Go” by Matt Redman. The chorus goes:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
For rest the lyrics click here.

No matter what happens. No matter how messy life gets. No matter how broken, weak and tired I am, G-d is never going to give up on me.

NGU friends, NGU.

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