Saturday, July 31, 2010

What we have


I've been staring at this painting for the last 7 hours (3 more to go).  It's hanging on the wall across from where I'm sitting at the Maple and Moose. The quote on it has been running through my mind all day and it's really got me thinking about how true it is.  How often I forget to count the blessings I have, the joys that are here, in favor of pining over what I no longer have.
It reminds me of something a wise friend told me once.  I was in the library working (shelving reference actually) and he was there working on a paper.  It was a beautiful day and he told me he would rather be out playing ultimate frisbee with the others, but he had to get his paper done.  I told him I admired his dedication. He told me he did it by trying to remain fully in the present, to be fully present in whatever he did and wherever he was at the time and to no dwell on what he doesn't have right then or isn't doing right then.  Of course, he said it a lot more eloquently than that.  It's stuck with me since that day, which is impressive considering how good I am at forgetting things.   I've thought about that concept a lot this summer, about being fully present and focused on where and when I am.  Often I'll start longing to be back at Central, or to already be at Western, or to be doing anything other than what I am doing and when I get in that place I start missing out on the joys of the present.  When I focus on what I don't currently have, whether something in the past, or something yet to come, I can't enjoy the present.  I can't enjoy pushing an adorable 4 year old on the swing if I'm wishing I was walking in the park with a friend from Central.  I can't enjoy reading a Dr. Seuss book to a highly distractable 2 year old if I'm wishing I was having Tea and Tales at ten on Tuesday in 239.   I can't fully enjoy a sermon or learn from it, if  I'm wishing I was at the Calm listening to Joe B preach.
I think we often miss a lot of the beauty and joy of the present because we are so focused on either the past or the future.  I know I do.
I seldom think of the joys I have now, but always think of those that I miss...something is wrong with that.

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